Saturday, April 9, 2016

Balloon Dog Bones

Anatomical Animal Balloons by Jason Freeny

Bored Panda  3/8/2016  by Ingrida Barks
Balloon animals might remind you of your childhood. But Jason Freeny is here to ruin it again by revealing balloon anatomy. Similarly to the previous time, when he showed us what’s inside our favorite childhood toys, Jason amazes with his attention to details and is sure to give you nightmares!

American artist started out as a student of industrial design, and during the years he had worked for MTV, created digital illustrations, and eventually landed a job as a toy designer. This resulted in a beautiful juxtaposition of balloon animals getting a spice of realism.

According to Freeny, it took almost ten years for these toys to become mass produced. But now you can get them on Amazon: the gummy bear and the balloon dog.

You can find these anatomical balloons on Amazon.  (Well, you can find the bear, but the dog's sold out.  But you can read the very odd review for the Gummy Bear model - reproduced below...) 

I got the balloon dog in pink HERE at Mighty Jaxx 

By Keith Salender on September 14, 2014

So I bought this thinking it was a Jell-O mold. I'm not sure why I thought that exactly, since it says that nowhere on the item's description. Perhaps it was my level of intoxication, or the sleep dep, or perhaps pure optimism. Either way, when I received the package it was clearly NOT a Jell-O mold. No person should ever purchase this product thinking this is a Jell-O mold.

Being no stranger to making lemonaid from lemons I decided this was the perfect opportunity to put engineering skills to the test. I dremelled a hole in the back of the mold just large enough to fit a small funnel, prepared the Jell-O and got ready to assemble the skeleton. THIS is why the product gets 4 stars and not 5. The skeleton is a pain in the butt. Sure, I was 3 sheets to the wind but even my quasi sober friends had a hard time with the instructions. No person should ever purchase this product without a VERY sober friend to help assemble it.

Once the skeleton was in place I taped the 2 halves of bear shell together with rainbow colored duct tape. The shell took the Jell-O enema nicely and there was very little leakage... at first. An hour later the Jell-O had all but completely leaked out from the ass half (the top). Fortunately I'd realized this might happen and placed the whole bear/Jell-o unit in a larger container. I drained it, and allowed the remaining Jell-O to set (which it did nicely) and then filled it back in. For the most part this worked ok, and the Jell-O set firmly overnight.

The next day the moment of truth came. I had 10 ravers lined up around the table, anxiously waiting for their opportunity to feast on bear bits. The back was removed and some Jell-O splashed out leaving me a little concerned for the whole project. We then ceremoniously removed the face place with as much care as people who are about to feast upon the corpse of a gummi bear possibly can muster. The body held up intact, but the face ripped open revealing a nice zombie-like view of the bear. Then all I remember is a blur of jello arms being thrown in the air as people gnawed on leg bones and slurped out jello brains. It was a gruesome, but beautiful sight to behold.

I woke up the next morning fully satisfied with myself. This is exactly what I hoped I would be doing with my life at 35 old. I have no regrets, and if you purchase this bear, and turn it into a Jell-O mold you will also have none.

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