Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Penis Lipstick. Yes. That's What I said.

People Are Going Nuts over Disturbingly Realistic Penis Lipsticks
Well, realistic except for all the sparkles.

OK, let’s be clear. These very phallic lipsticks aren’t really a new thing.

They’ve been around since at least 2013, based on Amazon reviews. But after Instagram user prozac_morris posted a photo of them Thursday and BuzzFeed subsequently wrote about them, the veiny products are rearing their glittery heads all over the Internet.

Which isn’t really surprising. Like, get a load of these photos (sorry).

Judging by those Amazon reviews, the penis lipsticks — made by a company called Mushroom — are actually pretty good quality. The one complaint people seem to have is that they sometimes get squished in transit. And nobody wants a smashed penis.

While they seem like a perfect item for bachelorette parties or similar events, we’re kinda more interested in just whipping these out for everyday use, if only to see the reactions of scandalized passers-by.

But if you’re too afraid of drawing unwanted attention, don’t worry — like any lipstick, we suspect it will lose its shape soon enough. And if it maintains its rigid form for too long, maybe you should call a doctor.


Princessa USA Mushroom Penis Lipsticks are available at for $15.50 & FREE Shipping.

But the reviews are the best part…
By Amy Miles on March 19, 2016

Verified Purchase

“My great grandmother always likes to be well made up every day and won't leave the house without her face on. I got her these for her 100th birthday. Her fave colour is hooker red. She had been using them for months before she got her new glasses and it was then she realised she had been painting her lips with penises. She promptly had a heart attack. But at least she looked good in hospital. (FYI she's okay.)” 

If that’s not enough WTF for you today, take a look at the Peni-Colada Jello Shot Syringes - Pink from Royal Penn Products, LLC

Yup.  Right there on 

"The OUTRAGEOUS Peni-Colada Jello Shot Syringes are the WILDEST and CRAZIEST way ever to serve your tasty jello, pudding, or liquid shots! ``Uniquely Shaped`` shot syringes will be a ``hit`` at any bachelorette party, ladies night out, gay bar, or adult event. Peni-Colada Shot Syringes offer an exciting new way to enjoy your tasty shots, and with no mess, they keep your party or venue clean! Peni-Colada`s are MADE for jello shots, so they have an extra-wide opening at the bottom, and the shots easily squirt out! They can also be used for pudding or liquid shots as well! So quick and easy to fill! Just pull back on the syringe plunger, and ``suck-in`` the shot mixture, allow shots to chill for few hours, and then push the shots right out into your mouth! Each Peni-Colada Shot Syringe comes completely assembled with a top quality ``penis-shaped`` barrel, plunger, and over-sized cap to lock in the liquids. Peni-Colada Shot Syringes are easy to clean and are 100% RE-USABLE."

And of course, the reviews...  sample:

By Briana on February 9, 2016

Color: Pink Verified Purchase 
"These were better than expected and such a hit at our passion party! The funniest part and most talked about event! I filled them with white pinacolada Jell-O shots and the texture was so funny. It was a great time! The plugs worked well and are washable and reusable. Next time I will try liquid shots to see how they hold up" 

You go, Briana..

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