Thursday, July 21, 2016

2 Monsters and a Terrier




Donald Trump called Chris Christie and said, "Chris, I have a plan to turn this train wreck of a political convention around!"

"Great Donald, but how?" asked Chris Christie.

"We'll put on our best suits, and shine our shoes to a high gloss, and get matching blue ties which will engender confidence. Then we'll stop at the pound and pick up a cute farm terrier. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Ohio and drag some TV camera with us to show the folks out in American how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living here."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Elyria. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Donald Trump and Chris Christie?"

"Yes we are!" said Trump, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Chris suggested we stop and take in some local color and have a burger." They ordered a round of bourbons and burgers for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old farmer came in, walked up to the farm terrier, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came a long haired hippie. He too walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen citizens came in off the street, lifted up the dog's tail, peered closely, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Chris Christie asked, "Why are all these folks coming in and looking under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?" "Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a cute dog in here with two assholes!"
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And below, we have some Wiccan Huskies trying to summon the forces of vengeance to rescue the poor terrier and punish the two assholes who took him from the pound...

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